NATIVE AMERICAN GENOCIDIST GETS FACE ON $20 BILL
CAVEMAN DROPS ROCK ON FOOT, INVENTS PAIN
BOOTHE UTTERS "SICK TEMPERED MERMANUS" AFTER HE SHOOTS LINCOLN
LOYAL ORDER OF WATER BUFFALOS SPAWNS NEW GROUP: THE FREEMASONS
U.S. OBSESSED WITH THE 49TH PARALLEL IN IT'S OWN COUNTRY AS WELL AS KOREA
PUERTO RICO DENIED STATEHOOD TO KEEP NUMBER OF STATES NICE AND ROUND AT 50
GENERAL SHERMAN BURNS WHITE TRASH'S TRASH TO THE GROUND
GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER INVENTS PEANUTCILLIN
SHOT HEARD ROUND THE WORLD, ACTUALLY ONLY HEARD ABOUT 100 YARDS AWAY
JAPAN NEGOTIATES ITSELF THE LAST TO BE WIPED OUT, BY ALLYING WITH WHITE SUPREMECISTS
EUNUCH REGRETS DECISION AND WANTS HIS BALLS BACK
TEDDY ROOSEVELT OBSESSED WITH "BULLY" AFTER GRADESCHOOL BEATDOWN
HENRY FORD ACCIDENTLY RUNS OVER JEW WITH PROTOTYPE AUTO, EARNS ANTI-SEMITIC LABEL
DISNEY ACCIDENTLY KILLS JEW ON MATTERHORN, EARNS ANTI-SEMITIC LABEL
HITLER ACCIDENTLY EUTHANIZES 6 MILLION JEWS, EARNS ANTI-SEMITIC LABEL
ARCHAELOGIST COMPLETES TIANIC'S MAIDEN VOYAGE AFTER PULLING UP BARNACLE ENCRUSTED PIECE OF HULL
IRELAND CECEDES A LITTLE FROM GREAT BRITAIN WITH EACH AND EVERY MAILBOX BOMB
SHEEP CLONED BY SHEEP-F%$KERS
BLIND CRUSADERS FIND THE HOLY BRAILLE
CAPTAIN HOOK CIRCUMNAVIGATES THE WORLD, CAPTAIN COOK HAS SWORD BATTLE WITH PETER PAN
PYRAMID CONSTRUCTION GOAL MET BY ADDITION OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL CONTRACTORS
PONCE DE LEON SEARCHES FOR FOUNTAIN OF YUTES
VLAD THE UNIMPALER HELPS REMOVE STRUGGLING TURKS FROM PIKES
MONGOLOIDS STOPPED BY GREAT WALL OF CHINA
VENETIANS COME TO TERMS WITH STREET FLOODING ISSUE
FIRST OF COUNTLESS MILLIONS OF AMERICANS POINT AND LAUGH AT "LEANING TOWER OF PIZZA"
RENNAISANCE DENIZENS INVENT TERM "PRE-RENNAISANCE MAN"
JESUS WRONGLY ACCUSES PETER OF BETRAYAL AT LAST SUPPER
CAVEMAN STRUGGLES TO MASTURBATE TO CAVE DRAWING, TORCH IN OFF HAND
GOD ENDOWS SMELLY DESERT DWELLERS WITH WORLD'S PETROLEUM RESERVES
DRUIDS WHACK TROLLS TO KEEP SECRET, AFTER COMPLETION OF STONEHENGE
CHINESE FIRST TO INVENT GUNPOWDER, LAST TO INVENT THE FORK
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