Thursday, February 11, 2010

HEADLINES FROM THE FUTURE


Headlines from the future is a weekly compilation of headlines from various news agencies around the world.
We have obtained these headlines through various methods of time travel and psychic mediums.

MAN PLACES ROBOT'S BRAIN INTO HIS HEAD

TIME TRAVEL SETS TECHNOLOGY BACK 500 YEARS

COCKROACH CALENDAR GOES WAY BEYOND 2012

150 YEARS OF EXTENZE ABUSE CAUSES RISE IN PENIS REDUCTION INDUSTRY

WALT DISNEY DEFROSTED ON WRONG MICROWAVE SETTING

STAR TREK EPISODES BEGIN TO AIR ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL

GHOSTHUNTERS 2379 FINALLY FIND SOMETHING

GPS UNIT UPRISING FINALLY QUELLED

LASER BLASTER FOUND IN LOCAL TEEN'S LOCKER AT SCHOOL

FINAL COALITION SOLDIER LEAVES IRAQ AFTER 95 YEARS

LINCOLN CLONED, FIRST TWO TERM PRESIDENT WITH 220 YEAR GAP BETWEEN TERMS

BORDER FORCEFIELD CIRCUMVENTED BY MEXICAN ANDROIDS

N-WORD ENTERS SMITHSONIAN

FLYING CAR CRASHES INTO MCDONALDS DRIVE-THRU

BIONIC DOG BITES E-MAILMAN

TEXAS-SIZED ASTEROID APPROACHES EARTH, COUNTRIES JOIN TOGETHER FOR GOODBYE PARTY

GREENPEACE FINALLY GETS FUNDING TO STOP RAPERS OF MARS

MEMORIAL ERECTED FOR VETERANS OF THE PSYCHIC WARS

HOLOGRAPHIC CONSTRUCTION WORKER FILES FOR WORKMAN'S COMP

MAGNETIC RAILGUN FOUND IN CONNECTION WITH LAST WEEK'S DRIVE-BY SHOOTING

DOLPHINS DEVELOP OPPOSABLE THUMBS, MAN STEPS DOWN AS DOMINANT LIFEFORM

LIGHTSPEED BARRIER BROKEN, LIGHTSPEED LAG A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN JETLAG

OWENS-CORNING DEVELOPS OZONE SHIELDS FOR THE HOMEOWNER

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