Headlines from the future is a weekly compilation of headlines from various news agencies around the world.
We have obtained these headlines through various methods of time travel and psychic mediums.
MAN PLACES ROBOT'S BRAIN INTO HIS HEAD
TIME TRAVEL SETS TECHNOLOGY BACK 500 YEARS
COCKROACH CALENDAR GOES WAY BEYOND 2012
150 YEARS OF EXTENZE ABUSE CAUSES RISE IN PENIS REDUCTION INDUSTRY
WALT DISNEY DEFROSTED ON WRONG MICROWAVE SETTING
STAR TREK EPISODES BEGIN TO AIR ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL
GHOSTHUNTERS 2379 FINALLY FIND SOMETHING
GPS UNIT UPRISING FINALLY QUELLED
LASER BLASTER FOUND IN LOCAL TEEN'S LOCKER AT SCHOOL
FINAL COALITION SOLDIER LEAVES IRAQ AFTER 95 YEARS
LINCOLN CLONED, FIRST TWO TERM PRESIDENT WITH 220 YEAR GAP BETWEEN TERMS
BORDER FORCEFIELD CIRCUMVENTED BY MEXICAN ANDROIDS
N-WORD ENTERS SMITHSONIAN
FLYING CAR CRASHES INTO MCDONALDS DRIVE-THRU
BIONIC DOG BITES E-MAILMAN
TEXAS-SIZED ASTEROID APPROACHES EARTH, COUNTRIES JOIN TOGETHER FOR GOODBYE PARTY
GREENPEACE FINALLY GETS FUNDING TO STOP RAPERS OF MARS
MEMORIAL ERECTED FOR VETERANS OF THE PSYCHIC WARS
HOLOGRAPHIC CONSTRUCTION WORKER FILES FOR WORKMAN'S COMP
MAGNETIC RAILGUN FOUND IN CONNECTION WITH LAST WEEK'S DRIVE-BY SHOOTING
DOLPHINS DEVELOP OPPOSABLE THUMBS, MAN STEPS DOWN AS DOMINANT LIFEFORM
LIGHTSPEED BARRIER BROKEN, LIGHTSPEED LAG A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN JETLAG
OWENS-CORNING DEVELOPS OZONE SHIELDS FOR THE HOMEOWNER
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