WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS JAPANESE GIRL DIES AT AGE 50
FOUR OUNCE BOTTLE OF LIQUID CRASHES PLANE
24 HOUR TACO SHOP FOUND INNOCENT IN INTESTINAL DISCOMFORT ACCUSATIONS
CD PUT IN PLAYER UPSIDE DOWN, WORST IS ASSUMED
"SICK PUPPY" TORTURES HEALTHY KITTEN
PARAPALEGIC, OCTOPOD AMPUTEE BAFFLES MATH EXPERTS AT LOCAL UNIVERSITY
COLORED BLIND ELDER RUNS GREEN LIGHT
KEYS LOOKED FOR IN FREEZER
POLICE HANDGUN MISFIRES AND KILLS HOSTAGE TAKER
ALPHA MALE SUPPLANTED BY EPSILON TRANSSEXUAL
POLISH NEW YEAR TO BE CELEBRATED IN JANUARY AND JULY
CHINESE LEADER SENDS TERRA COTTA ARMY TO AID U.S. IN IRAQ
TAPEWORM ENTERS FOURTH WEEK OF ATKIN'S DIET
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