(The guilty ball washer near Hole 15 at Paloma Sands Golf Resort)
Miami, FL - Around 2pm, George Dunowitz 66, was ready to tee off on his fairway approach to the 16th hole at Paloma Sands Golf Resort, when he noticed his ball(s) was(were) dirty. He then approached a green ball washer just west of the tee off area and proceeded to wash his ball(s) in order to get the finest performance out of his next drive on the par 5 hole.
Dunowitz could not reach the ball washer easily and he then proceeded to pull a nearby picnic table closer to the washer. Standing on the picnic table, he then proceeded to place his ball(s) in the plunger area of the washer and with an up and down motion on the plunger he washed the green skidmarks from his ball(s). He said, later, that he felt as if he was cleansing a great burden from his ball(s) and he could play through the rest of the day unhindered by any stains left by the course. The other golfers later explained that Dunowitz was taking way too long to clean his ball(s) and they called out to him to "hurry up they were wasting daylight".
It was then that the unthinkable happened. Dunowitz slipped on the picnic table and fell off to the side of the ball washer, but he did not hit the ground. Instsead, he was suspended by his grey, shriveled bag caught in the twisted mechanism of the green montrosity which held him in it's watery grip. The other golfers ran to him and saw his precarious situation that Dunhowitz now found himself in.
He was hanging, suspended halfway to the ground, his crotch facing towards the washer and his old, grey bag caught in the plunger and stretched to the breaking point. His face was contorted and red, as if his bag was being ripped from his body. The other golfers tried to free him, but his sack was caught tightly in the plunger and the weight of Dunowitz's body was keeping the stretched bag taught and hard to free from the washer.
One of the other golfers, Ralph "Red" Peters, decided to lift Dunowitz in order to give his stretched out sack some slack and perhaps they could free him with this new plan. Two of his friends lifted Dunowitz and another tried to pull up on the plunger to free his ball(s). With a few quick jerks on the ball washer's plunger, the bag finally came free and Dunowitz fell to the ground., relieved from the pain of the sack's leathery skin being stretched beyond imagination.
Even though his balls were indeed clean, the damage to his bag had been done. Dunowitz decided to end the day of golfing and return home to put ice onto his injured area. When asked about the experience all he had to say was, "Thank god my testicles weren't caught in that thing! My MacGregor golf bag will never be the same."
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