SANTA CLAUS MYTH FINALLY LAID TO REST
OBAMA FINALLY PAROLLED AFTER 26 YEARS
PILOT OF "ENOLA GAY" VISITS HIROSHIMA BOMBSITE
MARILYN MANSON RECEIVES WALMART EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
PLANET'S AXIS SHIFTS FOR THIRD TIME THIS MONTH
CATHOLIC CHURCH EXPUNGES FINAL PEDERAST FROM RANKS
SNEEZE GUARD HUGELY UNSUCCESSFUL IN STOPPING KILLER VIRUS
CUSTOMER REALIZES HIS "MOO GOO GAI-PAN" IS ACTUALLY DOG
ADAM CORROLLA KING OF THE "ALL SHAVING CHANNEL"
ALIENS PROUDLY LAND ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN, WORLD REJOICES (ALTERNATE REALITY ONE)
ALIENS HOLD OFF TANKS AND MISSILES FROM UNITED EARTH DEFENSE FORCE ON WHITE HOUSE LAWN (ALTERNATE REALITY TWO)
ALIENS LAND IN THE MIDDLE OF MAIN STREET IN SPEEDBUMP, ARKANSAS (ALTERNATE REALITY THREE)
NELSON MANDELA EUTHANIZES 3 MILLION AFTER U.S. GRAIN EMBARGO
SECOND THOUGHT HITS NEIGHBOR'S MIND JUST BEFORE DRAINO IS PUT INTO HAMBURGER PATTY
KFC LAUNCHES IT'S ALL BEEF CHICKEN STRIPS
WATER DEEMED UNHEALTHY TO BREATHE
MARIJUANA LEGALIZED IN EVERY STATE WITHOUT VOWELS IN IT'S NAME
FIRST EVER DUMPSTER BABY SHOCKS NATION
SPOCK'S BEARD APPEARS ON EVERY GOOD GUY IN MOVIES AND T.V.
JERRY SPRINGER'S RALLYING SPEECH AT NUREMBURG HAS TRAILER TRASH MOTIVATED FOR WAR
POPE REACHES LEVEL 70 IN CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2
KING TUT'S CRAP SOLD ON EBAY TO FINANCE TERRORIST ARMS DEAL
COLD WAR REACHES NEW LEVEL WHEN RUSSIA GIVES ALL IT'S MISSILES TO AFGHANS
LEBANON, JEWEL OF THE MIDDLE EAST, NO.1 TOURIST ATTRACTION
U.S. NAVY FINALLY SINKS ICEBERG WHICH TOOK OUT THE TITANIC
ONLY THE SHITIEST PARTS OF CALIFORNIA FALL INTO THE OCEAN
SATELLITE T.V. REPLACED BY INTERNET FINALLY
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