Monday, March 1, 2010

QUICK HEADLINES FROM AN ALTERNATE REALITY


SANTA CLAUS MYTH FINALLY LAID TO REST

OBAMA FINALLY PAROLLED AFTER 26 YEARS

PILOT OF "ENOLA GAY" VISITS HIROSHIMA BOMBSITE

MARILYN MANSON RECEIVES WALMART EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

PLANET'S AXIS SHIFTS FOR THIRD TIME THIS MONTH

CATHOLIC CHURCH EXPUNGES FINAL PEDERAST FROM RANKS

SNEEZE GUARD HUGELY UNSUCCESSFUL IN STOPPING KILLER VIRUS

CUSTOMER REALIZES HIS "MOO GOO GAI-PAN" IS ACTUALLY DOG

ADAM CORROLLA KING OF THE "ALL SHAVING CHANNEL"

ALIENS PROUDLY LAND ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN, WORLD REJOICES (ALTERNATE REALITY ONE)

ALIENS HOLD OFF TANKS AND MISSILES FROM UNITED EARTH DEFENSE FORCE ON WHITE HOUSE LAWN (ALTERNATE REALITY TWO)

ALIENS LAND IN THE MIDDLE OF MAIN STREET IN SPEEDBUMP, ARKANSAS (ALTERNATE REALITY THREE)

NELSON MANDELA EUTHANIZES 3 MILLION AFTER U.S. GRAIN EMBARGO

SECOND THOUGHT HITS NEIGHBOR'S MIND JUST BEFORE DRAINO IS PUT INTO HAMBURGER PATTY

KFC LAUNCHES IT'S ALL BEEF CHICKEN STRIPS

WATER DEEMED UNHEALTHY TO BREATHE

MARIJUANA LEGALIZED IN EVERY STATE WITHOUT VOWELS  IN IT'S NAME

FIRST EVER DUMPSTER BABY SHOCKS NATION

SPOCK'S BEARD APPEARS ON EVERY GOOD GUY IN MOVIES AND T.V.

JERRY SPRINGER'S RALLYING SPEECH AT NUREMBURG HAS TRAILER TRASH MOTIVATED FOR WAR

POPE REACHES LEVEL 70 IN CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2

KING TUT'S CRAP SOLD ON EBAY TO FINANCE TERRORIST ARMS DEAL

COLD WAR REACHES NEW LEVEL WHEN RUSSIA GIVES ALL IT'S MISSILES TO AFGHANS

LEBANON, JEWEL OF THE MIDDLE EAST, NO.1 TOURIST ATTRACTION

U.S. NAVY FINALLY SINKS ICEBERG WHICH TOOK OUT THE TITANIC

ONLY THE SHITIEST  PARTS OF CALIFORNIA FALL INTO THE OCEAN

SATELLITE T.V. REPLACED BY INTERNET FINALLY


  


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